May 5th 2010

Sorry I have been posting lately but I've been working hard at my real job. I'm writing jokes everyday though, just too lazy to post them... But I will start today...miss me? write me an e-mail at pedrobartes@hotmail.com
Enjoy

The FBI reported that the guy that tried to bomb Times Square used some sort of fertilizer. I guess it makes sense to use fertilizer when you are trying to plant a bomb.

A new study suggests that obese children are more likely to be bullied in school. You know what? All the fat kids in the class should get together and beat the crap out of that only skinny kid that is bothering them.

Country singer Chely Wright announced that she's gay. Apparently, she got tired of sharing the closet with Kenny Chesney.

The "National Enquirer" claims that President Obama had an affair with a young, former campaign aide. Oh… that’s why some Democrats were not that shocked when he was into drilling!

Florida state senator Mike Bennet was caught looking at pornographic material on his state-issued computer on the Senate floor. You have to understand the senator; sometimes, in order to screw people, you need some porn to get all worked out.

A growing number of churches are offering counseling to women who say that they are addicted to pornography. And there’s nothing better than a priest to understand that problem.

Surgeons removed 35 pounds from the breasts of a Peruvian woman who was trapped in her bed for six months because of her giant boobs. Apparently, the huge part of the boobs that was cut out from her announced later that it was running for congress.

Surgeons removed 35 pounds from the breasts of a Peruvian woman who was trapped in her bed for six months because of her giant boobs. Last time I heard of someone that oppressed by two giants boobs was the woman that works in Fox and Friends.

Surgeons removed 35 pounds from the breasts of a Peruvian woman who was trapped in her bed for six months because of her giant boobs. She is now a size 34B, and she immediately noticed the difference when she asked for water and everybody ignored her.

A set of golf clubs used by Tiger Woods is for sale on eBay with a starting bid of just a quarter of a million dollars. The clubs are certified; one of them contains Tiger’s DNA; the one Elin used to smack him on the face.

A set of golf clubs used by Tiger Woods is for sale on eBay with a starting bid of just a quarter of a million dollars. The set is not complete; one of the clubs is lost inside the Perkins Waitress.

A set of golf clubs used by Tiger Woods is for sale on eBay with a starting bid of just a quarter of a million dollars. And if you are a hot waitress, Tiger might throw in his balls for free.

An ice cream parlor near Massachusetts Institute of Technology will soon be "serving Internet-flavored ice cream". Don’t try it; I heard it tastes like Spam!

An ice cream parlor near Massachusetts Institute of Technology will soon be "serving Internet-flavored ice cream". It is not good business; people don’t pay; they just get full with the free samples.

An ice cream parlor near Massachusetts Institute of Technology will soon be "serving Internet-flavored ice cream". Don’t try the AOL one; it takes so long to be delivered, it melts before you get to eat it.

According to a study from the University of Valencia, beautiful women can be bad for your health because just five minutes alone with an attractive female raise the levels of the body’s stress hormone. I’m safe then; a hot woman won’t put up with me for more than 2 minutes after I use some of my usual pick up lines.

According to a study from the University of Valencia, beautiful women can raise the levels of the men body’s stress hormone. I guess this means hanging out with Susan Boyle is more relaxing than a massage.